Friday, March 17, 2006

crap

Nghh.

Ngggggghhhhhh!

NGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

Squelch. Sploosh.

Aaaaaaaah.

Wipe-wipe.

Flush.

Parp.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

school is FUN! HAVE FUN, DAMN YOU!

Wheeee! It's been, what, three weeks since school started again? The Fishballs, he is liking the CenFad so far. He is liking the CenFad very much. The teachers are hilarious, if a little off kilter, the food it reasonable if a little randomly priced and the work is fun if a little abundant. The classmates are... I'll save the classmates for later.

However, the computers are slower than taking a size ten shit out of a size two ass and the Internet access is as speedy as your grandmother in the toilet. Two toilet analogies in a single sentence. I am king.

Now then, we come to my favourite bit: the classmates. Now most of my classmates are decent people, lovely and intelligent. The rest however, are buffoons of the highest order. Loudmouths who's main objective in life is to irritate the fuck out of anyone within a certain radius of themselves. Stupid fuck-ups who's fucking idea of a fucking joke is this: "Hey Miriam, we should call you Mary-anne" They follow this up with a grating laugh not dissimilar to donkey in labour who's baby is coming out sideways. THROUGH THE RECTUM. JESUS H. CHRIST ON A FRENCH FUCKING CROISSANT THIS MOTHERFUCKER GETS ON MY FUCKING NIPPLES. Seriously, the only thing that is preventing me from jumping across the class and stabbing him in the fucking eyesockets with my graphite pencils is the fact that graphite pencils are expensive and I'm on a budget.

Then there's the lady in the class whom I like to call "Oooh Look at Me Please Pay Attention to Me" or as I like to call her OMG STOP IT YOU FUCKING CUNT AND DIE DIE DIE DIE DAMNIT. She stands around and tries to fish for compliments about her sub-standard work. AND SHE KEEPS ASKING IF ME IF HER HAIR IS FLAT AND OMG SHE HAS HAIR LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON FROM THE 80's. Note of importance: If you have hair like Michael Jackson from the 80's, it does not matter if your hair is flat because you look like a fucking troll anyway. Note part deux: If your hair is naturally curly like that, fair enough, sucks to be you. But SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE OMGWTFBBQ. Disclaimer: Keem's hair is curly as well, but not McDonald's Curly Fries curly. But even if it was, I would adore it. With all my heart. Also egg-tarts.

Bleagh. But I've met a few cool people here as well so it ain't THAT bad. Also, I've been hanging out with that Lainie and also Miriam, who agrees with me about the bottom-feeding, cruel-tricks-of-nature that I've just mentioned.

And Lainie is girly.

My hunny-bunny-poopy-schnookums is coming tomorrow. My insides are all a-squishy in excitement.

The asshole on the next computer is playing FIFA by himself and he is swearing at the computer ref. Fucking tool.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

hurt

ouch

wheeeee!!!