i couldn't give a rat's testicles

I consider myself an honest person, so I'm just going to be blunt here, ok?

Our Messenger conversations in college were alright, I suppose. A little bit of entertainment for me, because, hey, what guy wouldn't want to explain the mechanics behind anal sex to an attractive lady?

But, now, things have changed, I wouldn't say it's you or me, because it's probably me and I'm a dick. But, really, I couldn't give a bucket of donkey's bollocks about the new guy who's trying to date you or your new Thai room mate who's really cute. And stop asking for gifts. And I don't give a retarded monkey's turd about what sort of undies you should wear to your date with the guy who's just SO fantastic. Having fake panic attacks because you don't dare to call him is no reason to wake me up at 3 in the morning. 3 IN THE FUCKING MORNING.

And you wonder why I've stopped talking to you?

Honestly, because it's like talking to a whiny-ass teenager. And it's getting old. Grow the fuck up, because I don't have time to handle your shit. Don't try to guilt-trip me because for that to work I'd have to actually like and/or care for you, and that stopped a LONG time ago. Our alleged "friendship" has been a constant stream of you asking me for shit and me stupidly giving it. Now, I'm saving it up for the people I actually give a shit about.

Basically, what I'm asking is: How about you leave me the fuck alone?

And please take your emotional rubbish with you, thank you very much.

Have a nice life. Far, far away from me.