poo!

Have you ever had one of those epic poos.

You know, you sit on the throne for about 20 minutes and strain and strain and push with all you've got through gritted teeth and the Archie comic that you've been reading is a crumpled mess in your hands (Archie comics are perfect toilet reading material, not too heavy and no concentration required) just when it feels like you're going to get a shit induced hernia, you're done. And a feeling of bliss, almost like, but not quite, that first orgasm with that girl who did that thing with her hands overcomes you for a few minutes.

When you turn around and there's this massive monstrosity of a fucker floating around rather smugly in the water, like some sort of blasphemous intrusion into the world. And you feel just a slight twinge of pride, because you made that thing.

Then you wipe your ass and toss the tissues into the bowl and you flush. The water swirls and the paper goes along with it to wherever it goes AND THE POO IS STILL THERE! AND THE FUCKER IS TWICE AS SMUG NOW!!!

"Hahahahaha, you will never flush me, you bastard! YOU MADE ME!! I'LL BE HERE FOREVER!!!"

And you wait for the toilet flush thingy to reload and you flush again. And the fucker just goes round and round. And you do it again. And again.

"Wheeee!" its says "Do it again! This is fun!"

You run downstairs and out to the yard and get a stick from the tree out back and run back upstairs again, ignoring your mother's strange looks.

In the toilet, you poke the poo until in breaks in half. Not so smug anymore, are you? ARE YOU!!!!

Then you flush and the SON OF A BITCH GOES DOWN! YEAH, BITCH, IT'S MY HOUSE! FEEL THE FLUSH!! BWAHAHAHAHAH!!

Then you realise that you're an alleged adult who's spent the last 45 minutes battling a huge poo.

And you have a shitty smelling stick in your hand.