monkeys have it all figured out
I have shaken the hand of celebrity. Last night, at that place that people go to drink and get drunk and grope each other, I had the distinct honour of meeting Miss Kimberly, she of the dugong-ian persuasion. A fascinating lady with sparkly eyes and pretty hair.
Being the suave lady-killer that I am, I offered my moobs (see: man-boobs, pecs, fun bags) for her groping pleasure for 20 cents. It is to her credit that she managed a quick and clever come back. Must meet up with her again. Yay!
"My goodness, why so cheap?" shocked ladies may ask. It's just good business sense. You let them have it cheap. And when they're hooked, you jack up the price. I knew that Economics class would come in handy eventually.
Everything written before this line probably explains why I've been single. Ho ho Ho. sniff.
Anyhoo, a good time was had by all. A very drunk Mr Arthur smooched me and another really drunk Mr Albert tried to grope Mr Nick in the happy bits. My poor friend Miss Jenny felt so out of place at the bar. Poor lady. Methinks we shouldn't have taken her there directly. Miss Ivy was little despondent. But she cheered up considerably later because, well, gratuitous amounts of alcohol will do that.
Caffeine must now be had because drawings need to be done.
My pants are happy. Yay!
(mental note: Sprite tastes absolutely vile right after mouthwash. It's like something small, furry and rancid decided to have a night of drunken debauchery in your mouth. With cockroaches. Compressed into a 10-second time period.)
Being the suave lady-killer that I am, I offered my moobs (see: man-boobs, pecs, fun bags) for her groping pleasure for 20 cents. It is to her credit that she managed a quick and clever come back. Must meet up with her again. Yay!
"My goodness, why so cheap?" shocked ladies may ask. It's just good business sense. You let them have it cheap. And when they're hooked, you jack up the price. I knew that Economics class would come in handy eventually.
Everything written before this line probably explains why I've been single. Ho ho Ho. sniff.
Anyhoo, a good time was had by all. A very drunk Mr Arthur smooched me and another really drunk Mr Albert tried to grope Mr Nick in the happy bits. My poor friend Miss Jenny felt so out of place at the bar. Poor lady. Methinks we shouldn't have taken her there directly. Miss Ivy was little despondent. But she cheered up considerably later because, well, gratuitous amounts of alcohol will do that.
Caffeine must now be had because drawings need to be done.
My pants are happy. Yay!
(mental note: Sprite tastes absolutely vile right after mouthwash. It's like something small, furry and rancid decided to have a night of drunken debauchery in your mouth. With cockroaches. Compressed into a 10-second time period.)
posted by FishBalls at 3:06 PM
2 Comments:
Maybe you're not advertising right, sending out 'cheap' vibes instead of 'bargain' vibes.
I say you hire me as your marketing manager.
Btw, drawings? What course are you doing oh moobie one?
Damn. I come across as cheap? That is a bugger. Must fix that. Will consider your offer of marketing manager if you'll work for peanuts. I also can offer almonds.
Also, yes, drawings. I do graphic design. Mostly because I can't handle all that number stuff.
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